Mother’s day is coming up. But I’m not in a particularly joyous mood today.  

I just learnt from my sis-in-law & mom that maya has been, since a while, troubling her 1 ˝ year old baby cousin brother. Like pushing him, kicking him & yesterday asking if he was dead when he stopped his breath while crying (coz she kicked him). Tho I don’t know how much she understands what ’dead’ is.

And on prodding, coaxing, my sis-in-law found out that Maya feels nobody loves her anymore. They all love her lil cousin.

And I dunno how to handle it. I’m hurt.

Maya is very fond of her lil cousin brother. They live close to our house & maya spends most of her time there when I’m away at work. He too is forever asking for her…maya, maya (one of the few words he can speak). She misses him a lot when he goes to his nani’s home some weekends.

Of course their games aren’t without fights…but apparently, off late, her reactions to any attention he gets have become a tad too violent. 

Maya is probably feeling the lack of attention. Tho my sis-in-law cares for her equally, the fact is that, the lil boy is, well….much littler than maya is. & he has to be looked after, fed etc.

I dread to think that after my 2^nd baby, maya’s own sibling, comes in august, what the situation will be. Right now maya shuttles between her granma’s home where her cousin is & ours. The new baby will be at home all the time. 

Tho so far maya has shown interest, happiness & love where the new arrival is concerned…it might not be the case once the baby comes.

 I know I can’t afford to lose my temper here (which is very very difficult for me). I have to be at my patient best & let maya know that I love her no matter what. & so does her aunt & everybody else.

But....I’m just feeling so disturbed & helpless….

Today is just not one of my happy days.

-maya ki mummy